animal magnetism and weird pickup lines
by deliriousnight
Summary: "Here's how you ask her out..." In which Sasuke's interested in Sakura and may or may not have gone to Naruto for advice. He should really know better by now. SasuSaku. KindaCRACK.


**Okay, so this was the birthday!fic for xfucktheglasses but it's kind of late….and short. It wasn't the original one actually, but my files kinda got all messed up, and….well, I can't say I'm very happy with how this second one for her turned out.**

**But I hope you guys like it!**

**Prompts: ripped skinny jeans / animal magnetism / silver rings on each finger / "you are a crazy lunatic. i like it." / "i need to go to rehab." "what? wait... what are you addicted to?" "you." "oh, how lame. laaaaaaaame." / chipped black painted-nails running through her hair / "_he _told me to say it!" "still your fault; you should know he's a moron"**

* * *

"God. The world needs to die." Sakura plucked some of the grass at her feet and threw it around, watching it fall down, gently in the breeze.

"And why do you think that?" Startled she turned around to see a boy around her age. At least she thought he was. He seemed kind of familiar to her but she couldn't quite place him. Plus, he was _really _pretty.

"Why do I think what?" she asked, a grin curling up on her lips. But hey, it wasn't her fault! Here was a pretty boy coming up to her and talking to her. Why shouldn't she have a grin on her face? She happened to LIKE pretty boys, _thank you very much_.

"Why do you think the world needs to die?" It was dark but she couldn't help but notice the silver rings on each of his fingers. They were sparkly and kind of glinted in the moonlight.

Sakura contemplated the pretty boy with the sliver rings. She didn't know the guy, but, hey, it was in her experience that you felt better when you spilled your heart out to strangers, right?

"My boyfriend broke up with me," she said matter-of-factly, and she took another pinch of the grass at her feet and let it fly all over her again. "I found him cheating on me with this bitch called Kin. Ino always told me that he was going to be bad for me." Sakura paused for a moment. "I don't know why I didn't listen to her."

"Ino?" the boy questioned and joined Sakura, sitting down right next to her on the grass.

Sakura nodded cheerfully, all thoughts of the world having to die leaving her head momentarily. "Yep! She's my friend. She's cool and all. A bit of a flirt, but I've no right judge."

The boy chuckled. Sakura marveled at it. It was deep and throaty but she still thought it sounded kind of pretty. Which probably didn't make any sense. But Sakura rarely did.

"What's your name?" Sakura asked, after the boy had finished laughing. Because, really, if she was going to spill her heart out to a stranger, she might as well know his name.

"Sasuke," the boy—Sasuke—answered. "Sasuke Uchiha. I'm in your Chemistry class."

Sakura gaped, pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes before doing so. The strand was long enough to go into her mouth, after all, and she'd rather not have herself choke on her hair. "You're Sasuke Uchiha?"

The boy nodded amusedly. "Yeah. I am."

"I know you! You're in my Chemistry class!"

Now Sasuke looked confused. But who wouldn't? It's _Sakura_. "Yeah. I just said that."

"You're that guy who everyone says has animal magnetism!"

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at her. Because what on Earth was she talking about?

"Animal magnetism?" he repeated blankly.

Sakura nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Because they all say you're so undeniably sexy that you're probably going to attract the Earth's population of women to yourself. Really."

"And do you think there's any truth to the matter?" Sasuke asked. His smirk was a bit devious and Sakura had to admit that everyone definitely knew what they were talking about. Really, Sasuke Uchiha was amazingly _pretty_.

So she firmly nodded, subconsciously playing with the holes in her ripped skinny jeans, which she subconsciously did any time she happened to be in the presence of a pretty boy. Well, not her skinny jeans all the time, but anything she could play with. Not that she knew this.

"Yeah, I do." And then she smiled at him. Sasuke was quite startled by the smile. Her teeth were pearly and white and she had probably never needed to have braces when she was younger. Not that he had to either. Uchihas didn't do braces.

* * *

The next day, Sasuke kept a special eye on the rather strange girl he had met the previous night. This did not go unnoticed by Naruto, who had been starting to think that his best friend was either asexual or gay, and was seriously starting to worry.

What would all those poor girls do if Sasuke turned out like that? They would probably be _heartbroken_. After all, that animal magnetism stuff did not kid around.

"You're looking at a girl, Sasuke," Naruto informed Sasuke, with his mouth full of food. "This is a miracle. You're _looking at a girl_. And not just any girl. No, you're looking at _Sakura-chan_."

Sasuke glanced at Naruto for a moment. "You know her?"

"Hell yeah, I know her! She's my best girl friend," Naruto told Sasuke.

Sasuke took this in thoughtfully before smacking Naruto over the head for no reason whatsoever. He told Naruto this when the dobe complained about it a moment later.

"So," Sasuke said after a second, "Yeah. I'm kind of interested in her. If you know her so well, how do you think I should ask her out?"

Naruto struggled to not form an evil grin. After all, with Sasuke's social constipation, he'd fall for anything Naruto'd tell him, and Naruto could get perfect revenge for when Sasuke had smacked him right before that.

So Naruto made something up and told Sasuke. And while Sasuke looked doubtful at first, he nodded and said, "I'll give it a try."

* * *

Give it a try he did, when school ended. He waited at the school gates for Sakura, watching out for the shock of pink hair. He hadn't been able to say anything in Chemistry so he figured that now was as good a time as any.

He spotted her a minute later, walking out with her blonde friend—the one she had mentioned before, Ino. He called out, "Sakura!" and she saw him by the gates. She walked towards him—and Naruto, who had not wanted to _miss this_—and stopped when she was right in front of him.

"Hey," she said, grinning a bit up at him. She was quite short, almost 5 feet exactly if he calculated correctly. "What's up?"

"Well." He glanced at Naruto, who gave him an encouraging thumbs-up. Somehow this didn't make him feel better. "Um, I just wanted to tell you that I need to go to rehab."

"What? Wait... what are you addicted to?"

"You."

"Oh, how lame. Laaaaaaaame."

He blinked down at her. "Huh?"

"I said that's lame Sasuke. Really, that's the lamest line I've ever heard. I never thought that someone with as much animal magnetism as yourself would go so low as to try and use_ that_ line." Sakura ran her chipped, black painted-nails through her hair and shook her head.

"Wait a second," Sasuke said and turned around to Naruto, only Naruto wasn't there anymore. He had run home before Sasuke could figure out that he tricked him. "Naruto told me that that was the best _line _to use on you. _He _told me to say it!"

"Still your fault; you should know he's a moron," Sakura retorted, hand on her hips.

"A dead moron," Sasuke muttered, cracking his knuckles and getting ready to run after the dobe. But before he could, he felt a hand on the back of his shirt. He looked back and saw Sakura.

"Hey, Sasuke," Sakura said.

"Hn?"

"Pick me up at seven tomorrow night. And don't be late." And when Sakura smiled at him this time, he couldn't help but smile back.

Before running off to kill Naruto, that is.

* * *

**A/N: Um Sasuke's personality is kind of weird in this. He's a bit more socially constipated than anywhere else. I mean, he trusts Naruto's advice! But I thought it was necessary.**

**So….Yeah.**

**edit (12/13/12): Omai. Was just looking through my old fanfics. Forgot I wrote this. Kinda edited it...That's all. Peace, suckersssss.**

**(Jkjk, love you all 3)**


End file.
